The answer is YES! Today! Let me set the scene. Imagine, you are in a foreign country. You moved here just 5 short weeks ago with your family. You do not speak the language. You have not learned to drive here yet. You feel like you are with your family 24-7. You go to language school 5 days a week for 1.5 hours a day. You homeschool your 7 year old twins (who by the way are not enthusiastic about school or even you being their teacher). You are suppose to be practicing your spanish with the housekeeper and the gardener......YIKES! Okay, now that you get the picture. Today was the day that I cried but I have to say it was not uncontrollable. It was just a few tears streaming down my face. My brain had just had enough. Enough of being the mama; enough of being the teacher; enough of being the student....just enough. We got home from language school today and began to prepare lunch, like normal. But today was different. I was on edge and feeling like I should be able to speak the language (Spanish) more than I am doing. Well, you have to practice in order to be able to speak it more. DUH~ But the thought of this today, terrified me and just made my stomach hurt. Josh was taking time practicing with Franklin, the gardener and I was not so much. I can't seem to remember words as easily as Josh and it is very frustrating. I just want to wake up tomorrow and be able to spit out the words and it make sense.
After much practice and time I know this will happen but for the time being I will just have to settle on having a few boo hop moments as my friend Stacy Knight likes to say. I must admit I miss my family; I miss my friends; I miss being able to just hop in the car and go somewhere; I miss having lunch or dinner with my girlfriends but for such a time as this God has me here to do His work- NOT MINE. I am reminded of that each and everyday. And I must remind myself that it is not about me....what?!?!?!?
The last 2 weeks I have sent out devotions pertaining to love to my former co-workers and today spoke about faith: "Help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you.” (Romans 1:12 NCV). So today I choose to have faith in what I can not see about my future and trust that God knows what He is doing and does not need my help. On the contrary, I need His help with everything- with speaking the language; with learning to drive here; with living with my family 24-7; with going to language school 5 days a week; with homeschooling our children; with studying and with communicating with others around me.
Will you choose to trust God and have faith that He has you right where He wants you to fulfill His kingdom purpose?
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